1
Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Use the dollar as a bookmark. --Fred Stoller
2
My grandparents gave me Scratch and Cough books when I was growing up, and Scene of the Accident coloring books. --Richard Lewis
3
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true. --Robert Wilensky
4
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done. --Steven Wright
5
I don't see why people read the book when you can see the movie in two hours. Plus you get all the graphics. --Steve Slotsve
6
Few people realize that Shakespeare once studied law. The original working title of King Lear was actually Estate Planning: A Trouble-Shooting Guide for the Wealthy Land Owner. --Brenda Pontiff
7
This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force. --Dorothy Parker
8
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. --Groucho Marx
9
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon. --Bill Hirst
10
I have read your book and much like it. --Moses Hadas
11
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. --Flannery O'Connor
12
I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn't say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there's a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid. --Jack Handey
13
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher. --Flannery O'Connor
14
People who like this sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they like. ‑‑Book review by Abe Lincoln before he was president
15
If I ever do a book on the Amazon, I hope I am able to bring a certain lightheartedness to the subject, in a way that tells the reader we are going to have fun with this thing. --Jack Handey
16
The covers of this book are too far apart. --Ambrose Bierce
17
Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room, talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books. --Jack Handey
18
I'm thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four year old level. --Dana Carvey
19
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force. Dorothy Parker
20
There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. --W. Somerset Maugham
21
Author's prayer: “Our Father, which art in heaven, and has also written a book...”
22
They told me that Gladstone read Homer for fun, which I thought served him right. --Winston Churchill
23
Writing is turning one's worst moments into money. --J. P. Donleavy
24
A poem is never finished, only abandoned. --Paul Valery
25
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia. --Woody Allen
26
Dr Donne's verses are like the peace of God; they pass all understanding. --James I
27
The only imaginative fiction being written today is income tax returns. --Herman Wouk
28
The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time. --Bob Monkhouse
29
An encyclopedia is a system for collecting dust in alphabetical order. --Mike Barfield
30
Once you've put one of his books down, you simply can't pick it up again. --Mark Twain (talking about Henry James)
31
What other culture could have produced someone like Hemmingway and not seen the joke? --Gore Vidal
32
It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous. --Robert Benchley
33
I have been commissioned to write an autobiography and I would be grateful to any of your readers who could tell me what I was doing between 1960 and 1974. --Jeffrey Bernard
34
Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything. --Ivana Trump
35
In Australia, not reading poetry is the national pastime. --Phyllis McGinley
36
It's not a good idea to put your wife into a novel; not your latest wife anyway. --Norman Mailer
37
I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind. --Patrick Dennis
38
The most important thing for poets to do is to write as little as possible. --TS Eliot
39
The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense. --Tom Clancy
40
The two biggest sellers in bookstores are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it. --Andy Rooney