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When I'm around hard-core computer geeks I wanna say, "Come outside, the graphics are great!" --Matt Weinhold
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One thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse. --Jack Handey
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I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray. --Seymoure Cray when he was informed that Apple had recently bought a Cray supercomputer to help them design the next Mac.
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Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw.
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Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. --Rich Cook.
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UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity. --Dennis Ritchie
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The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again. --Al Goodman
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The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit. --Eric Porterfield
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To err is human--and to blame it on a computer is even more so. --Robert Orben
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If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside. --Robert X. Cringely
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If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and no-one dares criticize it. --Pierre Gallois
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The Internet is a gateway to get on the net. --Bob Dole
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The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim. -- Edsgar Dijkstra
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A Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer is to computing what a McDonalds Certified Food Specialist is to fine cuisine.
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The nice thing about Windows is, it doesn't just crash, it displays a dialog box and lets you press "OK" first. --Arno Schaefer
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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. --Emo Phillips
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Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. --Andy Rooney
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All the time I thought I was smuggling the hard drive containing the secrets, the hard drive containing the secrets was smuggling me. --John Alejandro King
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Why is it drug addicts and computer aficionados are both called users? --Clifford Stoll
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The day I made that statement, about the inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the Camcorder. --Al Gore
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