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If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you. --Paul Newman
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Chess is the most elaborate waste of human intelligence outside of an advertising agency. --Raymond Chandler
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I failed to make the chess team because of my height. --Woody Allen
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The mistakes are all waiting to be made. --chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower on the game's opening position
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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. --Emo Phillips
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I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. I knew he was a chess champion because it took him 20 minutes to pass the salt. -- Eric Sykes
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It's not whether you win or lose; it's how you place the blame.
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I can't decide whether to commit suicide or go bowling. --Florence Henderson
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The bookies have put the odds out for this weekend. The Packers are slightly favored over the Steelers and the rioters are slightly favored over President Mubarak." –Jay Leno
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