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There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson.  --Bart Simpson

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Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.  --Groucho Marx

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Liberty is being free from the things we don't like in order to be slaves to the things we do like. --Ernest Benn

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An Evangelist is a bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.  --Ambrose Bierce

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Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups. --Cathy Guisewite

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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving. --Erma Bombeck

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I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. --Bertrand Russell

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O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. ---Sain Augustine

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A CNN poll showed that 61 percent of Americans think bin Laden is in hell. The other 39 percent think he's in superhell. –Jimmy Kimmel

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There's already been some trouble for Osama bin Laden in the afterlife. There was a mix up and he was greeted by 72 vegans." –David Letterman

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Hope is the feeling that the feeling you have isn't permanent."  --Jean Kerr

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Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething." --Mark Twain

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Fake Bible Verse:
‎"And let thou knowest that in the abundant age of typing, there will cometh the antichrist of typos, and he shall bringeth great vexing to thine thin soul with cruel misspellings and awkward gaffs.

If thou repenteth of thy poor typing coordinationeth, and if thou putteth away forever thine wicked keyboard and abandon all social networking postings and instead do meaningless activities of aloneness; then I will spare thee from the fullness of wrath;

and I will allow thee the comfort of dwelling among the sacred silence of the tribe of Mimes. Ameneth!"

--The Scroll of St. Oops 15:4-7

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My body is a temple where junk food goes to worship." --Unknown

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