And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. --Abraham Lincoln

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times. --Helen Rowland

It takes a long time to grow young. --Pablo Picasso

What most persons consider as virtue, after the age of 40 is simply a loss of energy. --Voltaire

1	Things are more like they are now than they have ever been. --Gerald Fold
2	My parents live in the Central time zone. I talk to my father once a week, but he still doesn't understand time zones. "Well, it's 8 o'clock here, so what is it, 6 o'clock there, huh, huh? It's summer here, so what is it, winter there? It's the Industrial Revolution here, so is it the Paleolithic era there?" --Hugh Fink
3	Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers. --Kid Quote
4	Did you know that Friday the 13th comes on a Tuesday this month? --Churchy La Femme
5	The future is already here; it just isn't evenly distributed. ‑‑ William Gibson
6	No matter how much time you save, at the end of your life, there's no extra time saved up. You'll be going, "What do you mean there's no time? I had a microwave oven, Velcro sneakers, a clip-on tie." Because when you waste time in life, they subtract it. Like if you saw all the Rocky movies, they deduct that. --Jerry Seinfeld
7	Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing that way.
8	Time's fun when you're having flies. -- Kermit the Frog
9	It gets late early out there. --Yogi Berra
10	Al: The night is young. Scott: Yes. We are in the infancy stage of nightness. --J. Scott Reimer
11	I go to bed early; my favorite dream comes on at nine. --George Carlin
12	It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. --George Burns
13	When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day? --George Carlin
14	It seems like I'm always an hour late or a dollar short. I'm the kind of guy who will have nothing all my life, and then they'll discover oil while they're digging my grave. –George Gobel
15	Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. --Emo Phillips
16	The surest way to be late is to have plenty of time. --Leo Kennedy
17	I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. -Steven Wright
18	Start every day with a smile and get it over with. -W. C. Fields
19	A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.
20	The future ain't what it used to be. --Yogi Berra
21	When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. --George Burns
22	The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. --Helen Hayes
23	When asked what time it is: "Do you mean now?" --Yogi Berra
24	And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. --Abraham Lincoln
25	Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times. --Helen Rowland
26	It takes a long time to grow young. --Pablo Picasso
27	What most persons consider as virtue, after the age of 40 is simply a loss of energy. --Voltaire
28	Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present.
29	Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand? --Steven Wright
30	When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to? --Unknown
31	I lost an hour late Saturday night from the time change, and then I lost another two hours on Sunday looking all over for it! --eborg
32	If time heals all wounds, how come bellybuttons don't fill in? --Unknown
33	Someday we'll look back on all this and experience post-traumatic stress disorder. --John Alejandro King
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