Facebook --I Have Learned
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I Have Learned |
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1 |
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That if I add food coloring to my bath water, I can temporarily change my race from white to: brown or yellow or black or red or blue or green (the blue is for some of the REALLY cold Eskimo tribes, and the green is for the reptilian hybrid humans that live underground) |
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2 |
That if you put UNICEF literature in the bags of trick or treaters on Halloween instead of candy, you are liable to have some unpleasant things done to your house or car or property that are REALLY hard to clean up! |
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3 |
03-07-10 |
That you don’t want to be anywhere near a full-grown Wookie when it starts raining, because the noxious smell of their wet fur will induce in you retching and dry heaves in no time flat! |
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4 |
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That popcorn soaked in turpentine makes for a pretty good campfire that is easy to ignite --while at the same time being an edible treat for when you are absolutely starving |
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5 |
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That if you go a restaurant and order an enormous amount of food from the menu but then you can’t eat all of it; well, they STILL expect you to pay for it! Boy I hope I never do that again! |
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6 |
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If your car axle starts making an annoying squeaking sound and you are all out of axle grease, that common household bear grease will work great as a temporary solution |
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7 |
03-06-10 |
That leaves are “nature’s toilet paper.” However, take a lesson from me that the leaves of poison ivy, poison oak and stinging nettles are not recommended at all for this particular purpose! |
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8 |
03-07-10 |
That you can lead a horse to water, but don’t expect much thanks from the animal if the horse has a hankering to drink coffee, soda or a more “adult beverage.” |
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9 |
03-07-10 |
That one of those white disk-shaped “urinal cakes” makes for a pretty good car air freshener (TRUE story!) |
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10 |
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That if you take a package of red licorice sticks and connect each of the ends together with paper clips, you can jump rope with it –but it starts falling apart after about the tenth jump or so |
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11 |
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That if you go “knock, knock” on the shell of a tortoise who is all closed up in their shell, you would think Mr. Turtle would pop out their head to see who was there, but in fact they just try to stay hidden and pretend they aren’t home at all! |
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12 |
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I have learned that if you are a spy and you want to pass national secrets over to another nation’s spy, it really works great to hide the microfilm in packets of Koolaid, because quite frankly I don’t know anyone these days who drinks Koolaid! |
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13 |
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That if you take a key and lay it on a slice of bologna, and then cut out an exact replica of the key in the bologna, and then let it dry in the sun for two days, you will end up with a “meat key.” This won’t actually work in a lock, but it is fun to show it off to your friends |
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14 |
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That google has a search engine for “pig latin” words (This is TRUE! www.google.com/intl/xx-piglatin ) |
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15 |
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I sometimes think they are two Gods, and each one things the other one is watching over me (I learned this from Ashleigh Brilliant) |
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16 |
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That if I pick up the phone when it rings and I don’t say anything, the calls turn out to be WAY shorter --which is my preference, because long phone conversations makes my ear hurt! |
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17 |
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That if you watch a movie with the sound turned off, you can make up all kinds of fun dialogue just in your own head! |
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18 |
03-06-10 |
That putting a bumpersticker on my Toyota Camry that said “STEAL THIS CAR!” was NOT one of my better ideas! |
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19 |
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That urine makes for a terrible cologne (True story) |
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20 |
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That I am NOT smarter than a 5th grader, and in fact in many instances I’m not even smarter than a 4th grader |
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21 |
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If you take a raisin and stick little wires in for legs and antennas and then place it near a group of ants, they will think it is a god! I will let you discover for yourself what happens next. |
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22 |
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That many of the ancient races such as the Incas and Mayans died out because their civilizations came to a point where there was a critical shortage of mayonnaise |
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23 |
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That birds are fully capable of flying upside down, but they are a humble race of creature and don’t like to show off all that much |
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24 |
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That not only does the Bible contain a hidden “Bible Code” that predicts the future, it also is filled with brilliantly hidden “Sudoku Puzzles” as well. You have to know Hebrew and Greek numbers though to play it, so that limits the mass market appeal right there |
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25 |
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That when you cry in the rain, your tears are hidden |
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