Wishing You a HOPELESS New Year!

By Bill Wigmore

Whether we know it or not, many of us owe our recoveries to a guy named Rowland Hazard. Rowland doesn’t get talked about too much in 12-Step circles, but he played a key role in the beginning of the AA program. Without him, AA as we know it, wouldn’t have come to be. You may remember that Rowland was the alcoholic who, back in the early 1930’s, spent time in Switzerland doing therapy with the famous psychiatrist Carl Jung. 

Strangely enough, we’re not indebted to Rowland for what he learned during his therapy; we’re indebted to him for what he didn’t learn. You see Roland got drunk just a short while after leaving treatment. He’d had about the very best treatment that money could buy. He’d had the very best therapist. (Sigmund Freud was unavailable due to his own cocaine problem!) He’d stayed in therapy longer than today’s managed care companies would ever allow. But as with many of us, the insane thought crept back into Rowland’s head, telling him to drink again. The thought came – and it called his name - and he followed it. In spite of all the professional help and in spite of all his good intentions – Rowland got drunk again. 

But what we really should be grateful to Rowland for is what happens next in his story. He travels all the way back to Switzerland to see Jung for a second time, but now the great analyst refuses to take Rowland back as a patient. Instead, he lays all the cards out on the table and tells Rowland about the truly fatal nature of his condition. In doing this Jung used a very important word. It’s a word that every real alcoholic and addict needs to understand fully and completely - because without this understanding, we rarely see recovery happen: Jung said to his former patient, “My friend, I’m afraid you are HOPELESS.” 

Now just let this scene sink in for a minute. You’ve traveled three thousand miles to see the last man on earth you believe can help you – and he says to you, “Your case is hopeless.” HOPELESS isn’t a word we like to use; it even borders on being un-American. I doubt you’ll see it discussed in the DSM IV, or talked about much in treatment. And, yet, it’s the word that started off this whole chain reaction we call recovery. You see, being a real alcoholic/addict doesn’t have anything to do with how much we drink or drug. And it doesn’t have anything to do with how often we use or even with how many problems the stuff causes us. Being a real addict has to do with trying to quit drinking & using – trying seriously – trying with all the strength and determination we’ve got – and not being able to do it. We try our very best to quit and the best we can do is get drunk again – just like Rowland. 

Our problem isn’t that we’re powerless over alcohol, or powerless over drugs. Our problem is that our lives have become unmanageable. And unmanageable means that that in spite of being powerless over booze, and drugs, – in spite of all the damage and all the harm they’ve done to us and to our families – in spite of all that – those insane and obsessive thoughts keep coming back into our heads and they stay there and they hammer away at us until we finally give in to them. Put powerlessness and unmanageability together in one person and that’s an equation that equals hopeless. As the Big Book diagnoses us: we have a hopeless condition of mind and body. Jung said to his patient, “I’ve tried everything with you that psychiatry has to offer.” And he probably reminded him that he was pretty damn good at his trade, but still it wasn’t good enough. Then he said to Rowland, “Your only chance is if you somehow undergo a psychic change – a spiritual awakening – a transformation that’s powerful enough to change your alcoholic mind at its very deepest level.” 

And so, it was on the basis of Rowland’s really feeling and really believing in his own HOPELESSNESS that recovery started right then and there. That’s the paradox of recovery. Rowland was humbled enough and desperate enough and feeling hopeless enough that right at that moment he began his search for God. He began his search for that spiritual awakening that’s really the only hope left for the hopeless addict. As the Big Book says: “We were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives. No human power could have relieved our alcoholism. (But) God could and would if He were sought.” 

We usually don’t go seeking God until our own best efforts have totally failed us. We usually don’t seek God until he’s the last one left to turn to. When all our scorecards read ZERO - that’s usually when we begin our journey. “God help me. I can’t do this thing alone!” And so it was through his experience of HOPELESSNESS that Rowland found his miracle – and it’s the same miracle that you and I and every alcoholic and every addict is offered today through the 12 Steps. We owe a debt to those who went before us. They found the way out of addiction and they left us a map – a map with 12 simple Steps they ask us to take. Work those Steps - and the miracle happens. Work those Steps - and then when those insane thoughts come, they don’t overpower us cause we’re in relationship with a Power greater than ourselves who can and will see us through. 

Albert Einstein once said, “You can’t solve a problem with the same consciousness that created it.” Recovery’s about changing our consciousness. It’s all about changing who we are and how we’re both consciously and sub-consciously connected to God. And the only way most of us get connected is through the gift of our pain. 

God’s found in all things they tell us – but for us addicts – I think he’s found especially in the painful and the tragic things of our lives. That bottom we each hit turns out to be our blessing – because once we get there, then just like hopeless Rowland - there’s usually no place to turn to but to God! That’s the miracle of recovery. Hope for those who know they’re hopeless. May our New Year be filled with this realization.